You bring out the farm boy in me
by Sapadu
Summary: Um... I really have no excuse for this fic except to be unorthodox. BL. Because even the Jedi fall in love.


You bring out the farm boy in me  
  
By: Sapadu  
  
Okay... I have no excuse for this fic, except to be completely unorthodox. and well... read my profile. I explain things there.  
  
Ken/Luke Skywalker Drabble ----------------  
"Hey, Luke? I'm having trouble with this hyperspace calculation, could you help me, please?" Luke Skywalker stood up from the chair he had been reading in and walked over to where the Jedi Prince was hunched over his homework. The Jedi Knight didn't know WHY he had offered Ken the chance to move in with him, but all the same, it was comforting to have the boy around.  
Ken, for his part, seemed quite grateful to spend so much time around Luke- only fitting, seeing as how the boy knew more about him than HE did before they'd even met- and Ken was almost a vent for Luke on days when he found himself being too serious or thinking about things too hard: As Ken had said once, being perpetually serious and hard thinking just wasn't healthy for anybody, Jedi or no, and the Jedi Prince was a way for Luke to let go without loosing control completely. Sometimes, a two minute talk with the boy made him feel worlds better.  
"Well, what's the problem?" Luke asked, leaning over Ken's shoulder and putting his arms on either side of the boy. Ken felt his face heat up as Luke leaned over him. The Jedi Prince would never admit it- nor realize it- but the feelings he held for the older Jedi designated as his guardian for the time being went far deeper than for an idol, or even for a friend... not that Ken had ever had any experience with true friendship... Ken shook himself and concentrated on his homework.  
"Uhh... If a ship is hovering 45,000 kilometers past the atmosphere of Bespin, facing right-aligned with the planet and on the left-alignment is the moon, calculate the distance of the nearest port of exit if one travels into hyperspace." Ken read off of his paper.  
Luke knitted his brow and looked at the problem closer. His strong point never had been calculations like this. That was Han's area of expertise.  
"That sounds more like a navigation question than a calculation to me..." Luke mused. Ken just shrugged, having no clue whether it WAS a calculation or not.  
The Jedi Knight drummed his fingers on the table Ken had his homework spread over, thinking as hard as he could. The only way HE could think of this to be a calculation would be if it was a conversion problem from kilometers to lightmeters, but Ken had told him that his class wouldn't be learning how to do that for another chapter or so. Quite frankly, he, Luke Skywalker, was stumped.  
Ken, on the other hand, was trying to force himself to think about his science homework. It was easier said than done, what with Luke so close. Ken could smell the older Jedi's citrus scented soap, and it was driving him mad. The boy might have just been able to concentrate, had Skywalker not shifted his weight so that one of his arms rested on Ken's shoulder. With that warm weight on the boy's shoulder, the smell of oranges and lemons surrounding him, and Luke's smooth voice right over his ear, the young Jedi had to put quite a lot of effort into keeping his hands from shaking or his face going red. Ken's distraction was NOT helped by the fact that it was 10:30 at night.  
"When is this due?" The Jedi Knight asked, glancing at the boy with concern as he yawned for the umpteenth time.  
"Ahh... day after tomorrow... why?" Ken mumbled, rubbing one of his eyes and, in Luke's personal opinion, looking absolutely adorable... not that this was too different from how Ken USUALLY looked... the older man shook himself and closed Ken's textbook before turning Ken's chair around so they were facing each other.  
"You're tired. You're not going to finish your homework on this much sleep, Ken. You can always ask your teacher for help tomorrow. Now, go to bed." Luke said, putting his hands on the arms of the chair and looking directly into the boy's eyes. They were normally gray, but at times like these, Luke sometimes thought they were silver. Small wonder that the Jedi Prince's favorite color was silver when it was practically his eye color... the older Jedi had found himself developing an appreciation for it as well... Luke snapped himself out of his thought as Ken yawned again and nodded.  
"'Kay... Thanks, Commander Skywalker..." and before Ken would say another word, Luke gave him a firm push towards the room where his and Ken's beds were located.  
While Ken toddled off to bed in an almost half-conscious state, Luke stared after him. Once the boy's back was gone from sight, Luke looked back down at the books, papers, and pencils scattered over his kitchen table. Seeing as how he had told Ken to go to bed and hadn't given him time to pack up, the older man figured he could put Ken's homework away for him for once. By the time Luke was done, he was feeling tired himself. The Jedi sighed, looked down at the book he had been reading, over his shoulder at the clock, and finally decided that it was bedtime for him, too.  
Ken appeared to be asleep when Luke entered the bedroom. The boy hadn't even bothered to get into his pajamas and was sprawled, half on his bed, half on the floor. It made Luke smile to see Ken acting like the kid he was. Ken always was trying to act grown-up and serious around him and Han and Leia- maybe because he thought they looked down on him because of his age- but to see him let down his guard for one moment and be the kid hiding behind that shell... it was one of the many ways Luke saw himself in the boy. Luke picked Ken's feet up off the floor, dumped him onto his bed, pulled off his shoes, and pulled the covers up to the boy's chin.  
The blue-eyed Jedi smiled serenely down at the younger Jedi as he sat on the edge of Ken's mattress and pulled off his own shoes. Luke realized, with a pang of sadness, that Ken had never been exposed to affection that parents gave to their children, being raised by the droids of the Lost City of the Jedi. Even he, growing up with his Aunt and Uncle on Tatooine, knew love and warmth. When he had been little, his Uncle Owen had used to read him bedtime stories, and his Aunt Beru had always given him a kiss goodnight before she tucked him into bed... Ken hadn't even had that as a child...  
In a moment of lost control and heartfelt sadness, Luke bent and pressed his lips against Ken's moppy brown hair in the goodnight kiss he knew Ken had never felt. Ken stirred in his sleep, nuzzling against the kiss, and smiling at the loving contact. The Jedi Knight's own smile spread and Luke got up to change into his own nightwear. Out of the back of his head came a voice that nagged at him.  
Face it, Skywalker, you love him and you know it! Why don't you just tell him?  
Luke looked back at Ken's sleeping form, curled up under the blankets.  
'Because he's just a kid. For one thing, he deserves someone closer to his own age, and for another, Ken doesn't really feel like that about me. I'm just his guardian.'  
For all you know, he WANTS you to be more than a friend. For all you know, he might WANT you to tell him. Admit it! Admit it!  
'No! Ken's got to be at least six years younger than me. It's not RIGHT for someone my age to feel that way about someone Ken's age. That's... that's SICK! That's PERVERTED!'  
It's not sick to love someone. If you LUSTED after Ken, that WOULD be wrong, but you're in love and you're just too big of a coward to admit it because you're scared he'd be disgusted with 'his hero' turning out to be homos-  
"I am NOT in love with Ken!" Luke hissed to himself in the silence. Why he did it, he wasn't sure, but it silenced the voice inside his head... somewhat.  
But you're still letting him live with you. You still care for him. You still kissed him... What is that, if it's not love, you pathetic excuse for a Jedi?  
"Ken is just a kid I'm taking care of until his father returns to take care of him or he goes to take care of himself. This has nothing to do with love." The voice was gone now. For one second... two seconds... Luke waited a full minute in silence before he was certain the haunting voice in the back of his head was gone for sure. He stood and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face before he went to bed himself.  
The older Jedi hadn't realized that Ken was wide awake. He had been for all of Luke's self battle and was now quite heartbroken. When the boy heard his guardian leave the room, he curled into a ball, buried his face in a pillow, and started to cry. Ken cried and cried and cried. Zeebo crawled up onto Ken's pillow and started to nuzzle his human friend's face with his beak. Being only a mooka, Zeebo didn't understand quite what was making Ken so sad, and instead of being comforted, Ken only sobbed harder.  
Even though Ken was muffling the noise in a pillow, Luke still heard him crying. Just the same, Ken heard Luke's footsteps as the older man walked back into the room and quickly pretended to be asleep. He didn't fool the Jedi Knight, whom had noticed Ken's lately strange behavior- lack of energy, lack of talking, lack of appetite, and an overall lack of Ken.  
"Ken? What's wrong?" Luke asked, sitting down on the edge of the boy's bed. Ken kept his back turned to the older Jedi, determined not to let Luke see he had been crying. Crying was for babies- DJ had taught him that... and even then, as a baby, Ken himself hadn't cried much- and the Jedi Prince would slit his own throat before Luke saw him as a baby.  
"Ken? Ken, I know you're awake and I heard you crying. If you tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help." The older man pleaded, if only to make sure the boy was at least physically healthy, if nothing else. Luke received no response, but a whimper.  
"Are you hurt? Ken, please, you have to tell me, or I don't know if you're okay." Luke said, to which Ken answered, in a croaky voice,  
"I'm fine, Commander Skywalker." Luke didn't agree.  
"If you were, you wouldn't have been crying this much." Ken cursed, mentally.  
"Luke, it's nothing. I'm just being a big baby." Ken bit out, determined not to let Luke see his tears.  
"No, you're not. It's okay to cry. Now, if you tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help. But I can't do anything if you don't tell me what's the matter." Luke gave into the temptation and reached out with a hand to stroke the boy's corn silk soft hair. Ken shivered at the touch. He knew that Luke didn't really love him, so things like this, he didn't take personally. But that didn't make it hurt less. Ken hugged Zeebo closer to his chest because, God, it HURT!  
"You won't get mad at me if I tell you?" Ken asked, his voice trembling.  
"No. I won't be mad." Luke quietly replied.  
"And you won't, like, hate me forever if I tell you?" Came another whisper.  
Luke shook his head.  
"I can't and never will hate you, I promise." The older Jedi replied, silently adding that it wasn't just because of his code as a Jedi.  
Ken sat up, rubbing one of his eyes, now red from all his tears, his cheeks still wet, his breath hiccupy... The boy stared at his knees, unable to look Luke in the eye.  
"Luke..." Ken began in choked voice, "... I love you."  
For a split second Luke thought that time had stopped, because his heart certainly had. Frankly, he was unsure that Ken really meant it. He had KNOWN that Ken loved him, as maybe a brother or a father, but if Ken meant it in a different way, how did he know that it wasn't just some passing infatuation, or that Ken really knew what he meant.  
"I'm sorry, Luke, but I do. Even back when we first met, I started to fall and as time went on, I just couldn't leave you because you meant so much to me, so much I was even willing to betray my home just so you wouldn't be hurt, and I'm sorry, but that's just they way I am, and I know I'm just a kid and I'm sorry I bug you and......" Ken's voice cracked and he tucked his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in them and holding back more tears. Luke was having none of that: The older Jedi reached out and pulled the boy into a hug.  
"Ken, I fail to see how that's something to cry over. To love someone is a wonderful thing and you don't need to be upset over it." Luke muttered into Ken's hair. The younger Jedi shuddered.  
"But you don't love ME... it's okay... I understand... and I'll understand if you don't want me around..." Ken was cut off by two warm lips pressing against his forehead. Luke was KISSING him! If anything, Ken was now thoroughly confused.  
"Why do you think that?" The older man asked, carding his fingers through the boy's hair.  
"You SAID so... you were talking to yourself and you said that..." Ken's body shuddered again, and he fought back a sniffle. Luke, on the other hand, mentally kicked himself. He really had been an idiot when he'd said that out loud. Well, now he had to fix the damage it had done.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that... I was trying to convince myself of that, but either way, I didn't believe it anyway. I was scared that... that you would be disgusted by me... or that you would think I was a freak or something... I was just being a coward..." He confessed, holding Ken closer to him. Somewhere in the back of his head, Luke could hear that voice saying I told you so, I told you so, I told you so,  
"But I really do love you, Ken. I mean it." The Jedi Knight murmured, turning Ken's face up to meet his gaze. Ken's cheeks were still wet with drying tears, his lips parted just slightly, and his eyes were still red-rimmed from crying as he searched the Jedi Knight's sapphire eyes, searching for- and finding- a gentle kindness overwhelmed with pure, simple, wholesome love; an emotion unlike any he had ever felt before- gentle, yes, but powerful.  
Almost like someone had tried to plug in a lamp and ended up with the sun, or as though someone had stirred the calm water in a dam, yet the ripple made the dam wall crumble... Ken wrapped his arms around Luke's shoulders as the older Jedi pulled Ken closer to him. Ken had five seconds of staring into Luke's blue eyes before he leaned forward and feather- brushed his lips over the older man's until Luke leaned in and deepened it into a true kiss. From some deep connection with the Force, the two Jedi felt the other's emotions as they embraced. Kissing soul to soul, the world around them flickered and faded in and out, the only true things in this universe the thoughts they shared, their hearts beating and feeling together, and the gentle caress of their lips upon the other's.  
When they broke apart, Ken practically fainted, he was so dazed, had not his newfound beloved caught him and laid him back down on the mattress, tucking the covers in up to his chin again.  
"Now, it's time to go to sleep. You've got school tomorrow." Luke whispered into Ken's ear, kissing his forehead goodnight again. Ken nodded and closed his eyes, only to open them again when the other Jedi climbed into his own bed.  
"Luke, if you're not doing anything tomorrow, could you pick me up from school?" Ken asked, his silver eyes meeting Luke's sapphire ones. The Jedi Knight smiled softly at his love before nodding.  
"Of course. Goodnight, Ken, I love you." He replied, turning off the lamp and pulling his blankets up. Ken smiled back.  
"'Night. Love you too, Luke." And with that, the Jedi Prince fell asleep.  
Luke would have fallen asleep immediately as well, but the farm boy side of himself was dancing around in his head, unceasing in his chant of I told you so, I told you so, I told you so.  
And, Gods, was the Jedi Knight side of him happy to have lost an argument with his farm boy side for once.  
So, do you feel sheepish yet?  
'Yes, but you don't need to gloat about it.'  
The farm boy rocked back and forth in his crossed legged position.  
Yes, I do. You just need to lighten up a little more. For a Jedi Knight, you sure are off balance. You're too serious.  
'That's why I have YOU. To balance me out.'  
No, that's why WE have KEN. He's the only one who can truly bring me out and give you a break.  
'Hmph. A boy brings out the farm boy in us... that's too poetic to be allowed.  
No! You're just sore that you can't take corny sap like that.  
Luke gazed at his beloved's sleeping face before drifting off.  
Really... Ken DID bring out the farm boy in him... and he wouldn't have it any other way. ---------------  
Owari  
In case you guys didn't get the whole Luke talking to himself thing, he has two sides: a farm boy, and a Jedi Knight. The farm boy is rash, thinks on his feet, charges into the action and hopes for the best, and is usually optimistic. The Jedi is serious, rational, thinks out a plan before acting, but is often pessimistic. The thing is, in the series, Luke's farm boy side comes out a bit more often than his Jedi side, and I think that it's because Ken's there... Just so you're clear on that. 


End file.
